Monica
almost balked at the door of the dress shop, whispering to David, “This is way
too expensive. Isn’t there a K-mart or
Walmart around here?”
David
just gave her a look and pushed her through the door. A short round woman came up and bubbled
effusively, “Good afternoon, are you looking for something in particular?”
Monica
shrank back and mumbled, “Um… just looking.”
David
gave her a gently push forward, “My wife is looking for a dress, something
pretty to wear to church tomorrow.”
The
saleswoman looked from David to Monica and for a tiny instant blinked, and then
moved on, “Of course, I am sure we can find exactly what you are looking
for.” She looked at Monica, “We have a
nice selection in our petit department.”
Monica
shrugged, “I usually shop in the kids sizes.”
The
lady nodded and looked understanding, “I know.
I can imagine it is hard to find much in the women’s departments in your
size. I am sure we can find something you
will like.” She beckoned gently to
Monica, sensing her reluctance.
The
first dress she pulled out from the rack had a scoop neck and Monica shook her
head, “It has to have a high neck or be something I can wear a turtle neck
under.” Her fingers touched the soft
turtle neck that she had on under her blouse.
She always wore high necked clothing to conceal the scars that reached
up her chest. The sales lady paused and
then put the dress back.
David
spoke softly, “That was a pretty dress.”
Monica
shot him a panicked look and whispered furiously, “David, I can’t wear
something like that out, not where people can see, please.”
“Okay,
okay pretty girl.”
The
saleslady looked puzzled and finally asked, “Is there some problem?”
Monica
swallowed and then spoke, her voice was soft but tense and shrill, “I have some
scars on my chest and neck. I don’t like
to have them show.” She felt David’s
hand, gentle and warm, take her hand and hold it.
Instantly
the lady nodded, “Oh, of course, that limits us a little, but I am sure we can
find something. What about a little
suit? You could wear any kind of blouse
under it you would like, or maybe a skirt with a pretty cardigan. You can get a few separates and then you can
mix and match. The right skirt can go
from work to church to evening wear with just a different top.” She held up a small a-line black skirt, and
then began to pull a selection of jackets and sweaters, talking quickly as she
showed off a variety of looks. “See how
this can be dressed up with a few accessories?
Why don’t we go try on a few things?”
Monica blinked and let herself be bustled off to a dressing room.
Monica
found herself standing in front of a mirror looking at herself in a black,
businesslike suit, with a high-collared white blouse. The saleslady had gotten David a chair and
Monica looked over her shoulder at him with a pained look on her face and shook
her head. David shook his head, “I think
we are looking for something softer, more feminine.”
Instantly
the saleslady agreed, “Yes, this is too conservative. I just wanted to start with this so you could
see the versatility.” Monica found
herself trying on a series of different blouses and sweaters and standing in
front of David, her head a swirl of confusion.
Finally,
when the lady started talking about scarves and jewelry, Monica found her lips
quivering and she said in a tiny voice, “Whoa.”
Instantly
he was up, “We’re done here.” He spoke
crisply to the saleslady, “We will get that skirt, and…” He paused and pointed at a pretty blue blouse
and cardigan, “…that blouse and sweater.”
Monica
nervously whispered as they headed to the check out, “I still need stockings
and shoes.”
David
gave her a careful look, “Only if you are up to it.”
Numbly
Monica nodded and pointed at a plain pair of black pumps with a buckle on the
toe, “Do you have those in size five?
And I need a pair of panty hose.”
She did not protest when David put a pretty hand painted silk scarf on
the counter, just wanting to be done and out of there. She forced herself to not listen as the lady
totaled up the cost, telling herself to trust David and to stop worrying so
much about money.
Once
they were back in the Cadillac she leaned back in the seat. “That was not so much fun. I am much more of a Walmart kind of
shopper. That lady just wore me out.”
“She
reminded me of Junie when she decides something.”
Monica
burst into giggles, “A little. But not
so sweet.”
Once
they were back in the hotel, Monica asked, “Could you just get a pizza and
bring it back?”
“Of
course, Pretty Girl.”
Monica
took advantage of his absence to take a shower.
She gathered all their dirty clothes and had them ready to take down to
the utility room of the hotel. David was
gone longer than she expected and when he came back he had a couple of bags in
his hand as well as a pizza box. She
looked at him curiously, “What did you get?”
David
pulled a small CD player out of a bag, “Dancing music pretty girl.” And then from another bag he pulled a
scrabble game, “And something else to do when we get tired of dancing.”
“You
seem to have thought of everything.”
“I
don’t know about that. I forgot to ask
you what kind of pizza you wanted.”
“I
don’t really care. What kind did you
get?”
David’s
face was perfectly serious, “I got a supreme with extra jalapeño peppers.”
Monica’s
voice was outraged, “Jalapeño peppers!” The corner of his mouth twitched and his eyes
began to sparkle. Monica flew across the
room and tackled him, “Oh no you didn’t!”
She pounded on his chest in mock ferocity.
David
caught her in his arms and swung her around.
“I actually thought about it, but then I ordered them on the side.”
Monica
wiggled out of his arms, “We need to do laundry. I don’t have enough quarters.” David dug through his pockets and together
they pooled their change. Monica
gathered up the armload of clothes and hurried down to the laundry room. As she pushed open the door, she jumped when
a hand touched her shoulder, an involuntary yell of terror coming from her as
she dropped the clothes and whirled around.
David stood there frozen with a pair of socks in his hand. Monica looked at the clothes on the floor and
muttered, “Shit.”
“I
am sorry, Pretty Girl,” he held up the socks, “you dropped these.”
Monica
took a deep shaky breath, trying to ignore the drumming in her chest. “Oh thanks.”
She forced herself to grin, “You will be happy to hear that I am a lot
less jumpy than I used to be. Maybe next
time, you could say something before you sneak up on me like that.”
“Will
do,” he leaned over and helped her pick up the clothes she had dropped. Together they sorted out the clothes together
and started the washing machines.
“Do
you think it will be okay to leave these things here? Or should I stay here?”
David
laughed, “I doubt we need to stay here. Come
on up to the room and eat some pizza before it gets completely cold.”
After
the laundry was all folded and put away, David challenged her to a scrabble
game. The score was closer than Monica
had expected. David had a larger
vocabulary than she did and frequently used words she was unfamiliar with but
to her surprise he was a terrible speller.
The third time she successfully challenged a word that just did not look
right to her, he laughed and commented, “Irene always used to say that if I
could spell I would be dangerous.”
He
won but it was close. Monica squealed
with giggles when he jumped up and began to dance a victory dance. His grin was teasing, “Hey a good sport would
join in my excessive celebration.”
Monica’s giggles turned to a delighted scream when he pulled her up and
twirled her around the room.
When
he slowed finally stopped, he kept her in his arms, grinning down at her
flushed cheeks and bright eyes. Monica
gasped, “Do you always dance like that when you win?”
David
winked and drawled, “Only when I am so fortunate to have such a pretty gal to
dance with.”
Monica
felt her face blushing and then reaching up and twining her arms around his
neck. She stared into his soft brown
eyes, “Then perhaps the vanquished could offer the victor a kiss?”
“Then
I would indeed be a lucky man.” His
mouth was infinitely soft and gentle, the kiss deepened, their lips parting and
tongues meeting tentatively touching and retreating only to touch again. Monica found herself lightly running her hand
across the short hair on the back of his head and neck. It felt so soft, almost like velvet.
When
their lips finally parted, Monica hid her face against his chest. Her voice was low and quivering, “Wow.”
David
chuckled, “Yes, I am definitely remembering.
Irene may have been the only woman I made love to, but I kissed half the
girls in the parish before I settled down.”
“It
must have broken a lot of hearts when Irene landed you.”
Together
they began to rock and step, David waltzing her to a tune only he could
hear. “There wasn’t a dry eye in the
church on our wedding day.” He chuckled
again, “There will be more than a few fine widow ladies gnashing their teeth
when I roll into town with a beautiful young wife on my arm.”
Monica
leaned against him, her eyes closed, letting him lead her in their slow silent
dance. She murmured, “I like this. I could do it forever.”
“Sorry,
Pretty Girl, I am only ready to commit to do this for thirty-seven years.”
Monica
took another shower before bedtime and put on her freshly washed white
nightgown. She fingered the satiny
fabric of the lavender negligee. A
fleeting feeling of frustration made her brow furrow up and she gave a little
exasperated sigh as she shoved it back into her suitcase.
“What’s
the matter, Pretty Girl?”
“I
just hate that I am having my period now.
I want…” Monica couldn’t finish
the sentence.
David’s
hands were firm on her shoulders, “I want too, Pretty Girl. It’s only a few days a month. I can wait.”
His fingers began to work at the tension in her shoulders, massaging her
muscles. Monica moaned in pleasure as he
slowly worked his way up her neck and worked at the knots at the base of her
skull. He leaned closer, kissed her neck
and whispered, “Come lie down on the bed and I will rub your back.”
Monica
lay down on the bed, self-consciously smoothing down her nightgown around her
legs. Her voice suddenly tense, “You
don’t have to…”
His
voice was soothing, “And what if I want to?
Would you let me do this for you?”
As he spoke he carefully pulled the blankets up over her legs, up to her
waist, wordlessly communicating that he would only go so far and no
further.
Monica
swallowed down her words, thinking to herself that in many ways he was using
the same words she had expressed when she had wanted to touch him, give him
pleasure. She took a deep breath and
sagged softly under his hands, and mumbled, “It does feel good.”
“The
physical therapist that worked with Irene showed me how to do this; she had a
lot of back pain.”
“Mmm…
hmmm….” No longer wanting to even work
up the energy to say words, Monica thought to herself that this was a good
thing, a really good thing. The
sensations of his fingers working at her seemed to melt her whole body, sending
waves of warmth and tingles through her.
She could feel her body responding, the soft, slow warmth of growing
need making her loins ache and throb.
But it was easy and relaxed, and she was just happy to know her body was
cooperating with the sensual mood, not growing stiff or numb. When a small amount of warm fluid seeped from
her and soaked into her pad, she did not stiffen, just wondered idly if it was
menstrual fluid or the natural moisture of her body wanting to make love. It was like his touch banished all fear.
When
Monica woke the pale light from early morning was coming in through the
windows. She was alone in the bed and
could hear the sound of the shower running.
She lay still, carefully holding her pad close against her crotch. She counted back in her head, almost two
days, three more to go. When David came
out, she scooted quickly into the bathroom, pausing for only the quickest of
kisses before shutting herself in the bathroom.
When
she came out he was wearing one of his FBI agent suits. She quickly pulled on the new clothes. The blue high necked blouse and sweater
matched the color of her eyes. When she
held up the scarf, looking at it wondering if she should tie it around her
neck, David spoke up. “I was going to
take you to a Catholic Church this time.
Sometimes in more traditional churches it is expected for women to wear
a hat or a scarf. Irene always wore
one. It is silly, but I just wanted you
to have something.”
Monica’s
voice was shy, “Okay, but I sure don’t know much about that kind of stuff. How will I know what to do?”
David
laughed, “Don’t worry, Pretty Girl, just follow my lead. But let’s not worry about that right
now. Let’s go out for breakfast today
and then go to church.”
“Will
we have time to come back here after we eat, before we go to the service?”
“Sure,
Pretty Girl, we can do that.”
There
was something about the service was struck Monica as being somehow
soothing. They sat near the back, and the
church was beautiful, with the soft grey light of the rainy day, warmed and
somehow enlivened by the stained glass windows.
She did not listen so much to the words of the priest, just sat quietly
letting the calm rhythms of his speech soak into her. She stood and sat and kneeled when David
did. The singing was the best, leaning
against him, sharing the same hymnal, following along with him as he traced out
the words with his finger tip, her soft uncertain soprano blending with his
confident baritone.
After
they left Monica was in a quiet and peaceful mood. When David asked her what she thought, she
looked thoughtful and murmured, “It was beautiful.” Then her eyes widened, “You know that Bob
talks about infinity like you talk about God, and he says that you can sense
the infinity of the universe in the beauty all around us.” She smiled and reached out and took his hand,
“Whatever it was, it was there in that place, in the light and the words and
the music. I am glad I went. Thank you for taking me.”
David
looked thoughtful, “It is funny how in many ways Bob is one of the most
spiritual of people I have met, even though he spends way too much of his time
talking to trees.” Monica’s laugh was a
soft bell ringing.
