Flirting

I have this friend at work.  Well almost at work, he is at the school next door so I run into him every once in a while and he is the warmest, friendliest, most lecherous rogue you ever met.  He never, never passes up an opportunity to flirt, to leer, to go for the innuendo.  He always makes me laugh.  He always manages to make me feel sexy.  

He is younger than me and wonderfully handsome.  A big guy, well over six feet with some of the hugest feet I have ever seen.  I mean HUGE... the kind of feet you stare at and wonder.  And if his roguish comments carry any kind of truth, the rumors are true.

Well yesterday he was talking about a kid that kept demanding special treatment, who wanted someone to actually go out and purchase something different than what was offered in the school lunch.  I laughed and said, "Oh I never say no to those kind of requests.  I just say, 'It will cost you fifty bucks and may take a couple hours."

Well true to form, my friend's eyes lit up and he grinned devilishly.  "What did you say?  Only fifty bucks for a couple hours with you?"  Then he leered and made a sexy growl.

Not one to back down I bantered back, "For you special deal."  And growled back.  We both dissolved in laughter.

Then somehow he managed to turn it around... somehow it was me paying him the fifty bucks... and I gave him a disbelieving look... "Pay YOU????"

He lifted up one of those size 16... 18, 19, 20? (somehow in those moments they mysteriously seem to get larger and larger to my speculative eyes)  ...gunboats and propped them up prominently on the desk and gave me one of those looks... a wide grin and a challenging, leering wouldn't you like to know looks.

I could not help but step back and shake my head, retreating into prim older lady.  "Oh no.  We are so not going there."

But it was a great moment in my day.  We both know that it is not going to go any further than that.  He is happily married, has the names of his wife and children tattooed over his heart.  But it has been said, if we outlive our spouses... oh yeah, we are so definitely going to take off those giant tennis shoes. 

He has shown me the handcuff key he carries on his key ring.

Quack...

In honor of Kelly's reminder that I am just a duck and to let the stress of work to flow off my back... 

Fortunately there have been more and more windows of sunlight between rain storms so Master and I are getting out and walking more and more.  And being sort of springlike... the first crocuses are peeking out here and there.... (apologies to all of you still buried under snow) we are seeing dozens and dozens flocks of Canadian Geese.  And I am reminded of a curious scientific fact... and I took the time to impart this little tidbit of wisdom to Master...

So as another flock of honking and quacking and shouting geese speed across the sky, the ones in the front yelling, "Follow me!  Follow me!  Follow me!"  And the rest honking back, "We are!  We are!  We are!"  And a few stragglers hurrying to take their place at the end of the ragged V squalling, "Wait for us!  Wait for us!"  Master and I pause and look up.

I point and ask, "You see the V?"

Master nods, shading his eyes.

I ask further, "You notice how one side of the V is always longer than the other?"

He nods again.

"I learned on the science channel why they do that."

Master looks at me, interested now.  He loves little scientific facts.

I point at the rapidly disappearing flock and impart this little known fact with a serious expression.

"There are more geese on one side."