Eden Fantasys sex toy review

Eden Fantasys sex toy review of pocket vibrator.

After I opened the box, my first impression was that jennas-vibe-with-attachments was small, much smaller than it looked like in the picture… hardly bigger than my thumb.  It was like a miniature vibrator, more of a salesmen’s sample… not quite the real thing.  It only had room for one AA battery.  And once I got it all put together and twisted the bottom its “vroom” was miniature too (if that is four out of five… than my Hitachi wanna-be would most likely rate 50 or 60) and to be honest, I need all vrooms I can get.

For straight masturbating, it is useless.  I would rather use my hand.  Putting on all the different little (key word “little”) attachments make very little difference… though I would caution you to make sure that little finger hand looking thing doesn’t have any sharp places.  (It’s pretty amazing how pokey “jelly” can be.)  Bottom line… my fingers work better.  And the Hitachi wanna-be works ten times better.   

Now for the upside… yes, it is very water proof… and yes, it helps in the shower solely for the fact that it gives me a critical two inches of extended reach and when one is contorted into his preferred angle, it is hard to get to exactly the right place.  It also gave one an excuse for only using only one hand to brace oneself against the forces banging ones forehead against the edge of the tub.  I still cannot come in there but with the aid of those four vrooms, I must say the enthusiasm hasn’t been quite so feigned.  It does manage nudge the aging libido enough to make the time in the shower waiting for the water to turn cold pass so much more pleasantly. 

So final assessment is that it is a “foreplay” vibrator rather than the “get the job done” kind of industrial earth mover I seem to require in order to orgasm.  So it is seeing some use… once a week.  In fact, it sits in my toothbrush cup, right next to the shower.  (And it’s so small and so innocent looking, at first glance it could be any sort of personal hygiene device.) 

So while it did not fulfill the fantasized function of orgasms in the shower, it has not ended up in the reject box.

Inspiration... water proof vibrator?

To begin with, you must remember that while sex is still an important part of our relationship, and lately, it is not by any definition epic... either in technique, frequency or sadly even results. 

First you must remember that Master is in charge of all aspects... when, where, how often, what... and you must remember that he is the kind of guy that eats the same thing for breakfast every day of the week.  Even when we go out to a restaurant, he orders the exact same thing... link sausages, hash browns, eggs over easy, wheat toast and orange juice.  And woe to the wee slave that tries to "change it up".  This preference for the predictable and the comfortable translates to our sex life as well.  It is always at the same time of day... same day of the week... (Yes... children, grandma and grandpa only do it once a week.) 

I could script it.  He will be in the bathroom... pooping for some indefinite period of time... 30 or so minutes... (apparently this is part of the… um… planning?)  Then he will wander out and stand in the front room... in his tighty whities... (TMI children??? Well the images in your head will only get worse... look away... look away now.)  He will stare at me... with this "what the fuck you just sitting there bitch?" arched brow glare.  And I will blink and sigh and look at the clock like I am somewhat surprised and then grab a towel and follow him into the bathroom. 

(I could do this is in my sleep.)  Brush teeth... trim pubes... wait for him to finish shaving and brushing his teeth.  (Try… try… try to think of something sexual.)  He may swat me once or twice as we get ready to get in the shower (the lazy master’s favorite form of foreplay).  We shampoo and shave and scrub.  He gives me a once over and grabs my shoulders and pushes down onto my knees.  For the briefest of moments, I always put up a bit of token resistance (he likes to think he is making me).  Then the fluffing commences.  It takes a while but with diligence and proper enthusiasm... (real or feigned) eventually (if all the planets are in proper alignment and all is well with the world) the old soldier rises to the occasion.  He taps me on the shoulder and I obediently stand and bend over... rise up on my tip toes and put my forehead down on the end of the tub.  He fucks for a while from behind for a while and then taps me and I turn and resume sucking.  Rinse (literally), repeat… repeat… repeat…

I find the thought of it… the idea… the reality of it evocative… provocative.  I like that it is happening… but it does not physically arouse me at the time.  The position is too rigorous, the water runs down my back into my ears and nose, the angle is wrong, the water washes away much or all of the natural lube, it starts to chafe… soon I am irritated more than I am turned on.  I just want him to finish or stop.  I pray that the hot water will finally run out. 

Master likes me to orgasm… even insists I orgasm.  And he wants me to do it in the shower… but accepts that I just can’t quite get there… there. 

So, most of the time, once the water begins to run cold, we take an intermission (and intermissions SUCK... for me it can easily destroy any or all progress back to zero) and move the show to his room.  But the good news is, there, where I can finally lie down and reach for my big, industrial vibrator can I relax and have that required orgasm.  

So when Eden Fantasies asked me what sex toy  I wanted to test for them next I got to thinking, if I had a vibrator I could bring into the shower, maybe we could get this done before the water got cold.  So I asked to peruse a selection of water proof things and ordered jenna-vibes-with-attachments.  

I was intrigued by the variety of attachments available and the description said it was four “Vrooms” out of a possible five “vrooms” powerful and I definitely prefer powerful.

I ordered  jennas-vibe-with-attachments and as usual it came almost immediately.  Kayla tells me something like six days to process but it seems like it is delivered much sooner than that and I eagerly tore into the box.

To be cont... 

TULS on my ASS... toy review

After the, um… not so sweet smelling review of my last ‘free thang’ from Eden Fantasys sex toys, I was not really expecting to be asked back… but they seemed willing to give me a second try.  This time I decided to try something that may appeal to Master… an addition to his arsenal of implements of ass destruction.

I was sent a list of possible bondage toys to choose from… and I was waffling between the two most painful looking.  But I wanted to involve Master more so I waited to a time when he did not look tired, busy or grouchy… (rare and fleeting moments some days) and asked him to sit down with me and peruse the links.  I showed him the two… a vicious two tailed leather dragon tongue thing or a heavy, many tailed rubber flogger… but Master being Master he demanded I show him ALL the things and the minute he saw this his eyes lit up… he crowed… he cackled.  I would never have guessed… I mean really?

 

So I wrote back to Eden Fantasys and let them know… that it was the TULS paddle hands down over any of the others.  (One of the cool things about this process is how quickly the item arrives… almost instant gratification.)  And when the box arrived Master could not wait to rip it open and get to work.  He had me on my knees, forehead pressed down on the floor as he stood over me, straddling me… leaning over and aiming carefully and really whacking down… intent on leaving words written on my skin. 

Now let me tell you… this thing is not heavy and it snaps into you with a sharp crack.  It has two layers and they make it noisy, but (shhhh… in secret slave ink so the Masters cannot see it…) it does not hurt.  Well it does not hurt like this um... bigger and heavier thing… sitting next to it.

Or any of these things…

It feels just right… warm… stingy… satisfying.  I liked it.  No.  I loved it.  I wanted Master to keep on going… I wanted “SLUT” written all over my ass.  Over and over all this week I kept crawling into Master’s lap and handing him that wonderful little paddle.  And Master being Master he had discovered that he can coax a pretty satisfying burn and squeals of protest if he whacks me really quickly over and over in one spot… which meets his sadistic needs… and gets me out of his lap pretty quickly if he is not in the mood to be bothered… damn those lazy sadists…  

Down side… my ass does not imprint all that easily.  We could get an SL or a U or a T and they fade pretty quickly.  I think it will take a lot of practice to get good enough to get the whole word and to get it to last for more than a few seconds… and I am not all that unhappy about such a dire prospect… oh darn… you mean I have to get another spanking… Oh nos.

Master is still tickled with it.  He keeps it on the table next to his big chair.  He frequently just picks it up and plays with it… waving it rapidly in the air so the two sides clap against each other like a kinky party favor… grinning when he catches me watching him do that like a mesmerized chicken.

I have suggested to him that perhaps it should be the only thing he keeps next to his chair.  I have volunteered to move the heavier strap downstairs to the arsenal.  Mean Master says no.  Bastard.

So all in all… this is a cool new addition to Master’s collection.  He likes it.  I love it.  I would recommend it to anyone that likes to inject a little humor or humiliation into their spanking play.  It feels good… it makes us both laugh.