Sunday, June 12, 2011

TULS on my ASS... toy review

After the, um… not so sweet smelling review of my last ‘free thang’ from Eden Fantasys sex toys, I was not really expecting to be asked back… but they seemed willing to give me a second try.  This time I decided to try something that may appeal to Master… an addition to his arsenal of implements of ass destruction.

I was sent a list of possible bondage toys to choose from… and I was waffling between the two most painful looking.  But I wanted to involve Master more so I waited to a time when he did not look tired, busy or grouchy… (rare and fleeting moments some days) and asked him to sit down with me and peruse the links.  I showed him the two… a vicious two tailed leather dragon tongue thing or a heavy, many tailed rubber flogger… but Master being Master he demanded I show him ALL the things and the minute he saw this his eyes lit up… he crowed… he cackled.  I would never have guessed… I mean really?


So I wrote back to Eden Fantasys and let them know… that it was the TULS paddle hands down over any of the others.  (One of the cool things about this process is how quickly the item arrives… almost instant gratification.)  And when the box arrived Master could not wait to rip it open and get to work.  He had me on my knees, forehead pressed down on the floor as he stood over me, straddling me… leaning over and aiming carefully and really whacking down… intent on leaving words written on my skin. 

Now let me tell you… this thing is not heavy and it snaps into you with a sharp crack.  It has two layers and they make it noisy, but (shhhh… in secret slave ink so the Masters cannot see it…) it does not hurt.  Well it does not hurt like this um... bigger and heavier thing… sitting next to it.

Or any of these things…

It feels just right… warm… stingy… satisfying.  I liked it.  No.  I loved it.  I wanted Master to keep on going… I wanted “SLUT” written all over my ass.  Over and over all this week I kept crawling into Master’s lap and handing him that wonderful little paddle.  And Master being Master he had discovered that he can coax a pretty satisfying burn and squeals of protest if he whacks me really quickly over and over in one spot… which meets his sadistic needs… and gets me out of his lap pretty quickly if he is not in the mood to be bothered… damn those lazy sadists…  

Down side… my ass does not imprint all that easily.  We could get an SL or a U or a T and they fade pretty quickly.  I think it will take a lot of practice to get good enough to get the whole word and to get it to last for more than a few seconds… and I am not all that unhappy about such a dire prospect… oh darn… you mean I have to get another spanking… Oh nos.

Master is still tickled with it.  He keeps it on the table next to his big chair.  He frequently just picks it up and plays with it… waving it rapidly in the air so the two sides clap against each other like a kinky party favor… grinning when he catches me watching him do that like a mesmerized chicken.

I have suggested to him that perhaps it should be the only thing he keeps next to his chair.  I have volunteered to move the heavier strap downstairs to the arsenal.  Mean Master says no.  Bastard.

So all in all… this is a cool new addition to Master’s collection.  He likes it.  I love it.  I would recommend it to anyone that likes to inject a little humor or humiliation into their spanking play.  It feels good… it makes us both laugh.



  1. Mmmm, nice. i'll add it to my wish list...


  2. funny.... you definitely gave it the old college try. Mick

  3. i love the idea of that! unfortunately, anytime i tell Master...oooh, i like seems to get short play time from Him..

    i'm smart at picking things like that up, and i already screwed myself out of the big leather belt getting much ass time.

    Maybe i'll get this for him for our "anniversary"...and make a point of telling him how much it "hurts"...


    thanks Xantu!


  4. ... it does not hurt.

    For some reason one does not believe this at all... in fact one suspects this is a cunning plan to ensure the misery is spread far and wide :(