Trust

If devotion is the why,
Trust is the how.
I have devotion, I live and breathe devotion.
And I crave surrender, the sweet oblivion of surrender,
And Trust is the path between the two.

Trust is a precarious path, fraught with terror.
What is it I fear?
Do I fear him failing me?
There is no questioning his devotion to me.
He has no expectations, how can I fail him?
Perhaps I fear failing to meet my own expectations?
I have so many, too many.
They laugh and mock me.
Failure is inevitable, as inevitable as life.

Perhaps I have grown too comfortable with my fears,
Taking shelter and comfort in the walls of my own creation.
Who would I become without my fears?
Yet I hunger for surrender, and trust is the pathway to my goal.

Trust is a pathway,
And I must take my heart in my hands and take that first step out,
Out, out, out onto that unknown thing,
Believing he will be there with me,
Guiding me,
Supporting me,
Pushing me,
Always there to catch me if I fall.

And if I should fall,
He will throw himself after me,
And together we will spread our wings,
And fly.