I can't remember the last time I said his name aloud. And when I do, it feels strange, like it is the name of someone else.
I call him Master and I think of him as Master… when I ask permission for something I use the word Master, when we are just talking I use goofier words, like ‘sweetheart’ or ‘lover man’. When he calls me ‘Beautiful’ I call him ‘Handsome’. Out in the vanilla world he is ‘Husband’ when referred to and ‘Sir’ when being spoken to. If he is being a bastard (and he so can be), I call him ‘Bastard’ or ‘Monster’ or ‘Asshole’ or ‘Fucker’. And I can tell from his delighted sadistic chuckle when I blurt out those words that he is pleased with the evidence that he has successfully pushed my buttons.
He calls me ‘Pretty Girl’ almost all the time, with a smattering of ‘Beautifuls’ and ‘Sweethearts’, with an occasional half hearted ‘Bitch’ now and then. I can’t remember the last time he said my name out loud. And if you think that ‘Pretty girl’ is all soft and smarmy, you should hear it barked from across the room when you can tell he is pissed about something. It ain’t soft or smarmy at all then. It makes your sphincters pucker all up.
Do you have nicknames?