Last Friday we went to a party… no, not one of those parties… it was a vanilla, family type party. It was my younger son’s birthday party and because it was his party there were people there that I did not know.
Master and I got there a little late and when we walked in there was this girl and man sitting on the couch next to my older son… nobody was doing introductions… just asking if you want to be dealt into the next hand of Apples to Apples. Hells yes. I got Master all situated in the most comfortable chair and made sure he had a diet coke in his hand then quickly settled down at his feet to play the game. (Gotta love tiny crowded apartments where it just seems normal to sit on the floor at your Master’s feet.)
Lots more people showed up… ex-husband and his SO came in. Ex was on crutches. I swear half the time I knew that man he was having some kind of foot, knee, ankle problem. The poor guy was born with crap cartilage... now he has bolts and stuff holding his toes on his foot.
We sat and played games and talked. It was fun. My older son and his best friend are a drop dead comedy duo. We were all joking and laughing. The stranger guy did not say much, he just sat and drank a beer, the girl played the game and talked and laughed. Then he made some comment about having to call someone and he and the girl went out front of the apartment. There was some yelling, but I did not pay much attention. Then the guy came to the door and in a very belligerent manner demanded my older son come out front… and my son being a nice trusting guy went out to see what the problem was.
It was so bizarre, so outside our family experience, it took a minute or two to realize that this guy was trying to get in a fight… he accused my son of looking at the girl’s breasts and was moving up in a very threatening manner… everyone was sort of just stood there in shock… this was so unexpected… I remember seeing Livie, who is not quite six, standing there with both her hands on her face staring at this man coming after her Daddy, looking absolutely terrified…
…and you want to know what happened after that???
He stood right up and said in his most scary voice… “OH, HUH UH!” And he marched right out there and grabbed my son and shoved him indoors and told that other guy in that same voice that makes me cringe (and melt at the same time) that… “This is NOT HAPPENING. You go away from here, NOW.” And he came in and slammed the door. And just that quickly it was over.
Ex-husband’s SO gave me an amazed and delightfully envious look and said, “He is good at that.”
I smiled proudly and agreed. I could not help but wonder if she was as turned on at that moment as I was.
It turns out Mr. Belligerent was the boyfriend of an old girl friend of my younger son’s wife. They had lost touch for a while. Nobody knew the dude. He did seem really out of place in party filled with a strange mix of gamers, geeks and old folks.
Older son’s wife summed it up later. “He was not looking at her breasts. Everyone knows he’s a butt man.”
The whole thing was the topic of conversation the whole evening and Master was very clearly the hero of the night.
And I must admit… Master and his Master voice was the sexiest thing at that party.