Monday, May 9, 2011

Sex Toy review… part two: just leaving it in for a day.

Again the insertion was a matter of grabbing each bead and pushing them in one at a time.  Once seated, it stayed in secure.  It was not painful or even uncomfortable.  It was not particularly erotic and if I was not moving, hard to tell they were even up there… at first.

I worked around the house… I sat around with my computer in my lap.  The flexible handle was never the slightest bit uncomfortable. 


Have you ever heard the term… just put a cork in it?  

But the natural, digestive process of a human generates gas… it is part of life.  (One would even suspect that even dead people pass gas… at least for a while… but I digress.  I’m not dead yet.  Ten points for the movie reference.)  And passing gas with the plug in was a strange experience… possible but fraught with uncertainty.  Was that full feeling just plastic and bubbles or was there something more dire lurking back there?  After about four hours I had the definite suspicion that I might be inflating like the Hindenburg… and there were some pretty ominous rumbles coming up from my insides.  

I found that walking around did help some the bubbles squeak past…

At the end of the day removal was once again a bit of a hygiene issue.  I am glad I had scheduled my shower for then… and the plug once again needed a lot more than a wash in antibacterial soap… and it is now once again soaking in a solution of dishwasher soap and hot water to try and do something about the smell.

Bottom line… I really don’t think I am going to play with it again.  It will go into that lonely box with all the other sex toys that did not quite measure up to expectations… joining the marble sized Ben Wa balls that fell out the moment I stood up, the rabbit that seems designed for someone else’s vagina, the spring loaded nipple clamps that the tool dip come off of… the remote vibrating egg that you can hear from across the street… etc… etc…

Bottom line… Master hardly ever is interested in using sex toys… and without him… not so much fun.  It would be more fun if he helped in this experimentation stuff.  But that is a fantasy… perhaps next I will write about the fantasy… what we all imagine when we think about as we stare at these things in the catalog… what we hope might happen before reality lifts its ugly head.

1 comment:

  1. Too bad... and I agree about toys played with by oneself - not that I would really know, since I still just have one toy. But still.