Getting 'Bent'!!!

This all started months and months ago. Wayyyyy back in midwinter there was a bicycle expo at the old expo center. Master has been talking for years and years and years about getting me on a recumbent bicycle... Now I have periodic inner ear problems, infrequent bouts of vertigo and frequently have balance issues. Riding a conventional two wheel bike can be a challenge. The idea of one of those strange looking long bikes with the guys half lying down on them sounded dangerous. I had a girls frame because I needed to put my feet down frequently to keep from going Benny Hill. (Flop over onto my side.)

Well at the expo they did have lots of styles of recumbent bicycles and they had this one type with three wheels... a recumbent tricycle and inside the big building on the glass smooth concrete floor they just flew. They were easy to ride, comfortable and FUN!!!!! I was instantly hooked.

I wanted... really wanted. But they are pretty spendy... ranging from a $1000 to you just don't want to know. But I kept wanting. And we do have the money. The worry was... "If we buy this really expensive toy, will we really use it or will it just be one more expensive thing gathering dust taking up space in our lives?"







But the memory of flying along did not go away and I kept bringing it back up... and up... and up. But Master kept putting it off and it was raining and raining and raining. But this last Saturday, Master was spanking me and once again made the complaint that my ass was too bony. Pffftttt... like he isn't happy I lost all that weight. I mean I have repeated offered to eat lots of cheesecake for his spanking comfort but he just says no. Darn it... anyway this last Saturday I did say... "If you buy me a recumbent tricycle, I would get big muscley buns..." So Master said, "Okay, we will go for a test ride on city streets and see how you like it outside, see if it is still like you remember." Happy dance.

Sunday we went to the specialty bicycle store and took out a Terra Trike 24 for a spin and it was just as fun as I remember... more fun. People naturally smile at you as you ride by. I feel confident about my balance. I can go slow and not feel like I going to flop over.

So after the ride, Master asked me what I wanted and I pointed at the secksy blue trike and said... "I want that, if you will permit it." And he pulled out a little square of plastic... dontcha just love plastic??? ...and abracadabra, it was my secksy blue trike.

One downside with trikes is they just don't fit in the trunk of a Pontiac, so Master had to pick up with is truck on Monday. I raced home a half hour early with all these plans to get dinner ready so we could go out for a ride the instant Master pulled up to the house but surprise, surprise, Master was already home. His truck parked in the usual place, but no bike in evidence. I walked into the house and he was sitting at the computer playing dumb computer games... grrr... I said.... happy, excited voice... "You are HOME!!!" And he made a small noncommunicable grunt. Voice growing suspicious, this could easily be a terrible mind fuck... "Where is my bike?" Again a shrug and grunt, he does not look up from his computer. I go into the garage and then look out at the back yard... nothing.... nothing... nothing... Louder voice, tears starting to fill my eyes... "You didn't get it?"


He is a truly evil bastard... but not that evil... he started laughing and ran into my bedroom. I am really puzzled now. How the fuck did he get that big trike into my bedroom and why on earth would he put it in there? I mean he is an evil bastard but not usually a crazy bastard. But he comes out with the flag and proceeds to beat my ass with it... and it is a nasty length of fiber glass... it really stings but I am not paying attention to that... "Okay where did you hide my trike!"


Turns out it was in the basement. We went out for a ride but his old bike tires blew out after only a few blocks so it was a very short ride. I did test out the steepest hill in our neighborhood and I could put my secksy blue trike in granny gear and power up, up, up, up... awesome. I could do it. Boo Yah.

Master and I spent most of the evening driving around town shopping for new tires for his bike. I swear, Master has five broken down bicycles that he won't let go of... but when I want to go for a ride, none of them work. I am half tempted to take my magic piece of plastic and go get him a bike but then he would still not let go of the five broken down pieces of junk.