Another dark, wet, cold weekend. Friday afternoon was our work Christmas party and I had permission from Master to be late. I had baked that recipe of coconut ginger cookies. (I will put up the recipe on Thursday when StrivingForPeace has her cookie recipe exchange.) The cookies were good, but not really right for a go to the bar and drink beer snack. (Darn that lady that asked us to bring cookies... nobody else did... pffft...)
But the bad thing was late Friday afternoon, I started getting this ache and twinges in my lower back. Ick... the last time I had lower back issues was the day about two years ago when Master very decisively and physically demonstrating to me, that we had descended down this rabbit hole far enough that there was not climbing back out .
The party was okay, but I don't function well in crowds and I did not stay long. By the time I got home, my back was threatening to go into spasms. Master got home almost the same time I did and while it was still early. I don't know if it was the party or the pain in my back I was tired and fell asleep early. And when I woke up in the morning I was in serious pain.
We had a funny morning. Master was sending me all kinds of mixed messages. Let's go grocery shopping early... Lets go "take a shower". (Master speak for take an hour having sex under running water.) Shower sex is not a quicky and is almost inevitably followed by a nap. A suggestion completely at odds with the "early shopping" plan. Now I am easy to command, but nigh on impossible to stop once I get started on said command. Once I had that grocery list in my hand, I was giving him a "you have got to be fucking crazy" reaction when the shower topic entered the scene. I am the type to have a serious meltdown if I see a "detour" sign.
For my "you have got to be fucking crazy" reaction, I got another physical demonstration that I was not in charge around here. I got shown this in no uncertain terms. We arrived at the grocery store far from early. And my back was totally bitching me out for my stubborn, frantic struggle against those strong, no nonsense hands as they bent me over the edge of the bed and alternately spanked and held me down as he fucked some sense into my stubborn head.
Suffice to say, Master was just a bit smug as we walked around the grocery store and I was far more emotionally and mentally flexible, even if my back was the exact opposite.
Cool thing though, my collar came yesterday. It was funny, I was wildly excited and was tearing at the paper and guess what, son number one and Livie walked in the front door. Poop... I had forgotten I had said I would baby sit. Everything got put away.
Later Master asked me why and I looked at him with this "I just wish you could realize how important this is to me." pained expression and murmured, "I want it to be just you and me. I want to kneel at your feet when you to put it around my neck and tighten the screw."
We ended up babysitting until late but before bedtime I got my moment, on my knees at his feet. I am not sure if Master puts the same kind of symbolic meaning into having me wear a collar as I do. But he did take a certain "technical" interest in the design and gave it his official approval as to fit and appearance.
At first I was a little unsure as to the fit. But the circle is round, so it does feel a little wide on the sides but the front to back dimension is perfect and it does not rest on my collar bones. If I had gotten a smaller size, it would press on my adam's apple. I slept in it and never once was bothered by it. (Unfortunately I was bothered endlessly by not being able to find a position that did not make my back hurt.) And already this morning it feels like I have worn it all my life.
It is shiny and strong. It feels exactly right, rigid and inflexible, like my Master's hands around my throat.
...And now I better get up off my ass before my back freezes in this position. The only real solution is to keep moving.
Feel the Night
12 hours ago