Does your Master know your deepest darkest sexual fantasy? have you shared that with him?
This would imply I have ONE deepest darkest fantasy. I know… I know… the superlative implies a singular but that would on some level mean I would have to choose. And if I am anything, I am creative, distractible and filled with the next new idea.
Okay… the next thing is… darkest is fucking scary. I have been working hard to teach myself to fantasize a few shades lighter than that. I am learning to get off without any casualties, mayhem or mutilation. It is not good for me to go that deep.
So all that being said, do I tell Master my fantasies? No not in detail. I will hint, drop a comment here and then veer off the subject. He knows I think about anal… he knows that I fantasize about bondage… and confinement… and… well other things.
And again… there is this “I want” thing. I don’t want to tell him what I fantasize about because I don’t want to control it. And the other fantasies that are beyond his ability… I mean the man is only human after all… only two arms, two legs, and one… um… yeah…
I asked him today if he wanted to know and he said this strange thing. He said if I told him he would probably not remember. Not in detail… he told me he doesn’t remember things that way. We got into a long conversation about what kinds of things he remembers. And it was a little weird to hear, not very many. I wonder how he manages to work. But I digress.
I do write down my fantasies, even some of the darkest ones… but I don’t share them with anybody. I think the one that I have shared, “Make It Last, Make It Real” comes closest, but it is still a buffered, it has its tender moments. But he hardly ever reads my stories. He says he doesn’t read them because it is a struggle to read and once he is done, he does not remember them.
SagebrushD asked me...
I'm curious to know when you started writing. You seem like such an accomplished writer from your first stories on Literotica, I assumed that you have been writing for some time. Could you tell us about how you got into writing your stories? Have you considered writing more mainstream (no condescension meant at all by that term) stories?
Accomplished writer? Really you think so? That sounds so nice, thank you. …preens a bit.
I had to do some counting on my fingers. I started writing in 2007. It was a time of flux for me… at that time I had been totally addicted to a MMORPG… World of Warcraft had consumed my life for years. (we are talking about 8+ hours a day’s play on a work day… and 16-20 hours a day on any day off… I literally wore a hole in the floor in front of the computer with the wheels of my chair… an oak floor).
My eventual recovery can only be attributed to my aging reflexes. I was not really hanging with my demographic… the technical skill required to continue to progress in that game outstripped my ability to multitask and multi-button. And when I kind of lifted my head out of the game and looked around, I was sort of amazed to see that the real world still existed.
I definitely had a big hole in my life that needed to be filled with something. That year I had gotten a laptop computer for my birthday so instead of gaming I started to write down some my sexual fantasies. I found Literotica about the same time and started reading other people’s stuff. I think I wrote maybe 2 or 3 thousand pages that first year. I have slowed down a little since then.
I have had no formal writing classes… but I have always had a huge vocabulary and a strange continual dialog running in my head. And I did grow up listening to the grownups telling stories around the fire. I have always loved to read, though I find now, I prefer writing to reading.
I do write some ‘mainstream’ (I assume that means things that do not contain explicit sex.) things. I have a more G rated sci-fi thing about half done… and I have a good start on what could be best described as a modern coming of age type story about a boy. All I need to do is finish one of them. I have set aside the "coming of age story" for NaNoWriMo this year.